Better Than Expected
I attended a wedding last night, my husband’s second cousin once removed was marrying off one of her children. We found this cousin about ten years ago when I was researching my husband’s family tree. Most of this cousin’s family perished at the hand of the Nazis so she was very happy to find she had cousins alive and living only an hour away, despite not being that closely related. This cousin and her family are Chassidish, they follow the tenets of Ultra Orthodox Judaism. At their weddings men and women sit separately during the reception.
Upon arriving, much to my dismay, I found there were no place cards for seating during the reception. The problem this poses for me is that I know no one but this cousin, leaving me stranded wondering who I will sit with and find to talk to.
I recognized a woman who happens to be the mother in law of a cousin on the other side of our family. I was at this wedding invited from the bride’s mother’s side, she was there from the bride’s father’s side. I said hello and re introduced myself, (we had met a few times years ago) not mentioning anything about my quandary about where to sit and who with. As if reading my mind she grabbed my arm and said “Come sit with me and my sisters.” It turned out to be a fabulously fun evening. She and her sisters are live wires, funny and engaging. We all agreed about being up way past our bedtimes, and compared notes on who gets into their pajamas earliest each evening, which happens to be the favorite time of day for all of us. We discussed the election results from the night before, one of the women works for an assemblyman and shared some “inside” stories.
As we all parted we agreed on having had a great time together, and were happy to have met one another. I was reminded once again that though people may live their lives differently, we cannot make assumptions about the kind of people they are based on only knowing them through appearances. I began my evening wondering who I would talk to, how to connect, and came away with a renewed insight on not judging a book by its cover. And knowing at the next wedding I am invited to, I’ll know who to sit with.
Gift of An Autumn Day
It’s November. I hear the steam heat coming up in the morning, I need a jacket to go outside. Daylight ends early with darkness descending making me want to run for home. However, yesterday the temps hit close to 70 degrees and the sun was shining. Perfect weather. It made for a perfect day to walk along the East River in New York City in Carl Schurz Park. I was not the only one out and enjoying the gift of a warm day in November.
Michelle’s Weekly Pet Challenge
Larry’s Lab
I met Larry while volunteering at a center for people with Aphasia. Aphasia is a speech disorder brought on by an injury to the brain- a stroke, or an accident. It hinders the ability to speak, to get words out, or when trying to say a word the wrong word comes out. The center has many different classes throughout the day, one of which is computer, where different programs are used to regain reading and language skills. I volunteered as a computer facilitator, helping members through the exercises in the programs. Larry was one of these members.
Larry did not have the type of Aphasia brought on by brain injury. He had Primary Progressive Aphasia, a form of cognitive impairment that involves a progressive loss of language function. It is caused by degeneration in the parts of the brain that are responsible for speech and language. It begins very gradually and initially is experienced as difficulty thinking of common words while speaking or writing. It progressively worsens to the point where verbal communication by any means is very difficult. The ability to understand what others are saying or what is being read also declines. In the early stages, memory, reasoning and visual perception are not affected by the disease and so individuals with PPA are able to function normally in many routine daily living activities despite the aphasia. However, as the illness progresses, other mental abilities also decline.
Larry was 62 when he began showing the signs of PPA. When I first met him he carried a briefcase with papers containing the work he had done as an architect and builder. He was always proud of his work, and shared with me the many projects he had worked on. We sat together at the computer for an hour twice a week and went through the programs that dealt with definitions of words, unscrambling sentences, reading and comprehension. He was aware that there were things he couldn’t remember or struggled with, but always said he didn’t understand why this was happening and why he couldn’t understand things. He was already robbed of the ability to make sense of the disease he had been struck with. He repeatedly told me he hoped the doctors could fix things for him. It was truly heartbreaking knowing there was nothing the doctors were going to be able to do, and his abilities would continue to decline.
We forged ahead week after week, though he stopped carrying his briefcase with his work, as he no longer really understood what his life has been and the work he had done. I watched him lose the ability to understand the meaning of words, when given three choices for a definition, he could not choose one. His decline forced me to start using uncomplicated programs, basic and simple, until those too became too challenging. I attempted to focus on the things he still could do, and felt awful about his awareness of things changing, and his inability to understand why the changes were occurring.
Over a period of close to three years I watched as Larry could no longer make sense of words and numbers. His response often when I would tell him the correct answer for something was “That’s an oddball.” As if now learning the meaning of a word was a new and strange occurrence for him.- so out of the blue. It was that regression into a sort of innocence that always pained me. Something so basic, that now seemed so profound to him.
I met with him on Monday and Wednesdays, and one Wednesday I came in and he asked me who I was. He had lost his ability to recognize faces. It was shortly after that he left the center, it was no longer able to provide the classes he could partake in.
Larry died two years ago, and his family is donating a new computer lab to the center this month in his memory. I received an invitation and it took me back to those years, when I first met him, when we would talk about his life before the center, when we would talk about why he couldn’t understand things, until we couldn’t talk at all anymore. It reminded me of the struggles he faced, that his family faced. It reminded me once again not to take for granted the abilities we have, the blessings in our lives, that something so basic as knowing the meaning of a word, or the ability to say that word, is not so basic for some.
Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Bark or Leaves
Weekly Photo Challenge: Descent
Tuesday’s A to Z challenge: “R”
Red Stairs
27 ruby-red structural glass steps, rising to a height of 16 feet 1 inch above the 47th Street. They are part of the TKTS discount ticket booth, where you can buy discounted tickets for Broadway shows. Walking to the top will give you a panoramic view of Times Square, and a view down Broadway.
An Apple A Day
I try to go to the gym at least 4 days out of the week. Some weeks I am successful, or even make it there 5 days, other weeks (like last week) I have too many early morning obligations and just can’t get there. Those days I always park far from a store if I am shopping so I have to walk those extra steps, or I make sure to do some stretches in the morning and at night.
I made it to the gym today,and as usual started out on the treadmill. The gym is very large, and the treadmills are in a raised area looking down on the workout floor area. I usually see the same people when I go, the early morning crowd.There is one man whom I have noticed, or could say have heard, as every morning he takes his place on the treadmill and loves to yell down to the people on the workout floor. He calls them by name, loudly- and will tell them to move faster, or offer some other helpful suggestion, all in jest. Most people laugh and wave to him- some offer a comeback. This morning I happened to be next to him on the treadmill and started laughing at his antics. We introduced ourselves and he shared with me that he is good with remembering names and numbers, hence that is how he knows everyone’s name in the gym. As he was leaving his treadmill he handed me a beautiful Honey Crisp Apple and said it was for having shared a laugh and formally meeting each other. It made me smile all day when I thought of it.
Jo’s Monday Walk: Fort Lee Historic Park
This park is the site of George Washington’s 1776 encampment opposite Fort Washington at the northern end of Manhattan. It was selected as a site to help defend New York and the Hudson Valley against the onslaught of the British during the Revolution. Having resisted the British siege of Boston, George Washington turned his attention to the defense of New York City and the Hudson River Valley. Besides constructing fortifications at New York and Long Island, Washington felt it imperative for the army to build and strengthen its defenses along the Hudson River.
The Park overlooks the Hudson River and the George Washington Bridge, which connects New Jersey and New York
Fort Lee was rendered defenseless after Continental Army troops holding Fort Washington were defeated and captured on November 16, 1776. The Royal Navy controlled the Hudson River. General William Howe ordered Charles Cornwallis to “clear the rebel troops from New Jersey without a major engagement, and to do it quickly before the weather changed.The invasion of New Jersey began the night of November 19–20, when 5,000 British troops ferried across the Hudson on barges and began landing near New Dock Landing (present-day Alpine). George Washington and Nathaniel Greene quickly ordered the evacuation of the fort on the morning of November 20, 1776. (Wikipedia)
We spotted this deer in the woods surrounding the park
Tugboats on the Hudson River
An astounding view of the bridge from one of the lookouts
For More of Jo’s Monday Walks, go here
Fall Final
The trees where I live have finally changed color, not all of them, my mighty Oak is still very green. As I drove around town today I snapped some photos of the prettiest trees I saw. We had heavy rain over the last two days which threw many of the leaves to the ground leaving the trees stripped bare. Today the wind is roaring and taking down what leaves did remain.
Travel Theme: Autumn
Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge:Bare Feet
There is nothing like the feeling of stepping into the ocean for the first time of the summer. Pure bliss.
A Photo a Week Challenge: Livestock
These cows live in Warwick, NY on a dairy farm. I visited one Sunday and was given a tour and learned about the process of milking and the process of pasteurization. Then I had the chance to actually meet “Daisy” who was sweet as could be.
I met the goats at a fair and didn’t mind the feeling of them nibbling when they first started to eat out of my hand, but then they started slurping and it made me squeamish. I’m really not such a country girl.
Morning Kindness
The Daily Prompt:Today you can write about anything, in whatever genre or form, but your post must mention a dark night, your fridge, and tears (of joy or sadness; your call).
It was 4:00AM and I tossed and turned in bed. Finally I decided attempting to go back to sleep was a useless effort and got up. The sky was still dark with night, the sun would not appear for another two hours. I crept quietly downstairs to the kitchen, my brain was screaming for coffee. I opened the refrigerator and squinted at the light it threw out into my eyes. Finding the milk I quickly closed it. The smell of the coffee brewing began to awaken me, I took the steaming hot cup to my computer on the table and opened the browser to WordPress. There is no such thing as it being “too early” in blogland. With all the different time zones, I usually find 20 unread posts come morning. The first post I read was from The Kindness Blog which made me cry as it touched me so to read of man’s kindness to man.
Blue Skies
Here are some blue skies I put together….in case your day isn’t shaping up to look like a blue sky day
Tuesday’s A to Z challenge: “Q”
Q is for Quilts
Cee’s Share Your World-Week 43
What is your favorite time of day?
Morning is definitely my favorite time of day. I love the quiet. The peacefulness.I love that first cup of coffee and watching the sun coming up behind the trees outside my garden window.
What’s your favorite charitable cause and why?
One of my favorite charitable organizations is Chai Lifeline. (Chai means life in Hebrew) The organizations provides help to children with cancer, and their families. They offer rides to and from the hospital, provide meals, and have support groups. They run a 2 week camp in the summer, set up specifically for these children. It is amazing.
How do you like to spend a rainy day?
Inside, drinking coffee and blogging.
When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?
I never write using a pencil. I do like writing with a good pen that glides across the paper. The only thing I still actually write long hand is my shopping lists, or To Do list. And in the summer when I send letters to my niece in sleep away camp, those are all handwritten.
Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
Grateful that the weather has remained calm, as 3 years ago we had a freak snowstorm that caused a lot of damage & we lost power. The trees still had their leaves and broke under the weight of the snow taking power lines with them. 2 years ago this week Hurricane Sandy hit, leaving us without power for a week. I had a broken elbow at the time and an ailing dog… not a happy time.
From This Day Forward….
I attended a wedding on Sunday. The bride is the daughter of a friend of my husband’s. I have gotten to know this friend over the years too. His has been a sad story these past 6 years. His oldest daughter died suddenly 6 years ago at the age of 23. Three years later his wife died, leaving behind 3 daughters, one in high school and 2 in their early twenties. This man had barely started to recover from the loss of his daughter when he lost his wife. His friends questioned how he could recover, would he recover from such crushing losses. Slowly he has, managing to get through with the help of friends, and the mutual support he and his daughters give one another.
A little over a year ago he remarried. 10 months later one of his daughters became engaged to a young man she had been dating for a while. 3 months after that the other daughter in her 20’s also became engaged, and it was her wedding we attended today. Friends and family are overjoyed that finally some happiness, some rays of sunshine, are shining on this family. They are smiling, they are moving forward. Not that the pain is gone, it has merely receded. Not so close to the surface.
Seeing our friend come down the aisle with his daughter on his arm brought tears to the eyes of many of us. A beautiful moment, a moment most girls dream about from the time they are small girls, finally being realized for her. In this case it was all the more touching knowing the pain this father and daughter had endured together over these past years. The intense bond that had been forged through unthinkable grief. How poignant it was to see him walking her down alone, as the custom at a Jewish wedding is for the mother and father to accompany the bride down the aisle to the chuppah/wedding canopy. We were all thinking the same thing seeing them go down that aisle, wishing it were different, but happy she was beginning a new life, a new chapter.
The bride’s family Rabbi was asked to speak during the ceremony. Within the thoughts he shared, he made mention of the bride’s mother and her sister, saying their names, acknowledging their not being present to join in this celebration beneath the chuppah. By saying their names, it made them present. It was a touching moment, an important moment I thought, to acknowledge their lack of physical presence, but remind us that they are still within the heart, are there in spirit.
WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge-Cover Art
The photo challenge asks: which of your images you would like to see gracing the cover of a favorite book, music album, or magazine.
Many years ago I started compiling family recipes and photos of family gatherings and old handwritten recipes with the idea I would crate a cookbook to be shared with my family. As many of my projects begin with he best intentions, they never actually come to fruition. Such was the case with my self-published cookbook. I was gung ho at the beginning, typing up many recipes, writing copy, getting photos together of the faces that went with the recipes, scanning in photos from Thanksgivings gone by. My folder grew and grew but then lay forgotten, until I saw the Weekly Photo Challenge prompt and remembered my idea of long ago. It is almost ten years since I had this idea, and I have forgotten what I intended to call my book. I do remember I wanted to use a set table for the cover, as the collection of recipes would also be a recollection of the family gatherings over the years, a family history with recipes to go along. Now that my memory has been jogged I may set upon it again, though I question how many family members really might be interested in it. I am always trying to capture some glimpse of the past, of the memories I have, but are not necessarily shared by others. It is the nostalgic part of me, the person who likes to look back and remember. To share the proof that those times and people existed. Maybe I will just do it for myself.
Sunday Stills-The Next Challenge: Fall Foliage
Garden Friends
One of the things my husband and I like to do on Sundays is visit local gardens. Some are small with pathways to walk, others are expansive with places to sit and acres of land. Sometimes nestled within the flowers or along the paths are little statues. Here are some of the ones we have happened upon on our walks.
Cee’s Which Way Photo Challenge
Travel Theme: Numbers
My Mah Jongg Set
The 2014 Mah Jongg Playing Card
Getting Ready for the Game!
Cee’s Black & White Challenge: Toys for kids or adults
I don’t have toys or dolls leftover from childhood. The one exception is a rag doll that has somehow managed to remain with me from the age of five. I have never been able to bring myself to throw her out.
My husband and I love to go to flea markets and antique shows. Often it is a trip down memory lane, seeing things we remember seeing in the homes of aunts and grandparents. At one fair my husband came upon a “toy” that fascinated him, he remembered having one as a child. A simple disk with the face of a lady, but there was a tiny chain attached to the face that allowed you to move it to make the lady have different noses, thus changing her look. Such a simple toy, that could keep a child busy with the constant changing by just shaking the chain around into different positions. A simpler time.
A Day In The Life 
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