A Day In The Life

11/25/2014
DailyMusings

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Joints

Bones are amazing in that they have the ability to “re grow” after having been broken. New bone made by the body to repair a fracture is called callus. This unusual capacity for regeneration enables a mending bone to heal itself after a fracture, often so that the fracture eventually becomes virtually undetectable. Even shattered fragments of bone, (as was the case with my fracture)can often be restored to their normal function.

The elbow is one of the most difficult joints to repair when broken as it does not like to be rendered immobile. When it is held in one position for too long, as when put in a cast, it takes a lot to get it to move once again. For this reason doctors most often leave it in a cast for as little time as possible. In my case I had a terrible break and to add to it had Osteoporosis, which led my surgeon to make the decision to leave the elbow casted for 2 weeks, after already having been in a splint for a week before surgery. She wanted to make sure the screws that had been put into place would stay put. They did, but at the expense of an elbow joint that refused motion and movement for almost two months.

Over a six month period my elbow healed, the bone “grew back together” the screws doing their job. Through months of physical therapy I regained the ability to bend my left arm. Two years have passed but there is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for being able to do things I could not for close to a year. Here are some of them you may never have thought about.

Hold the phone to your ear. Bring a cup to your mouth. Put in a contact lens. Put in an earring. Put on your eyeglasses. Blow your nose. Floss your teeth. Wash your face. Wash your hair. Put your hands on your hips. Pull up your pants.

X Ray taken on the day of the break

X Ray After 1st Surgery to Place Screws

X Ray Taken during surgery to remove screws. All better.

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Joints

11/24/2014
DailyMusings

3 comments

Tuesday’s A to Z challenge: “U”

Under

Tuesday’s A to Z challenge: “U”

11/24/2014
DailyMusings

16 comments

Here Come Those Tears Again (with apologies to Jackson Browne)

I’m in one of my weepy stages. I used to chalk it up to hormones, their fluctuation at different times during the month, but at this stage of the game whatever hormones I had are pretty much gone. Well then maybe it’s the moon. They say the moon’s cycles have an affect on mood. According to something I read, when it is a new moon people’s emotions get back to normal. Yesterday was the new moon, so there goes that theory. I started to thank someone yesterday for their kindness to me and started to weep, fortunately the person I was thanking understood where I was coming from and wasn’t totally shocked by this emotional display. What’s going on?

I have always been easy to cry, sensitive, and a person who takes things to heart. I wrote a blog previously in response to a prompt, about being vulnerable. How opening yourself up allows you to connect with people and let them in, which is a good thing so long as it is not abused. It can also lead to hurt when the expectations of having opened yourself up are not reciprocated.

Perhaps that is some of the underlying problem here. I just spent almost an entire weekend with extended family. I knew my brother in law many years before he became my brother in law because I worked for him. He was the age then that his children, my nieces and nephew are today. Sitting at the large U shaped table for a meal this weekend, allowed me to see everyone seated there. My nieces who I remember as teenagers, now with their own teenagers, facing their own struggles that life has visited on them. Children with special needs, husbands who are emotionally vacant, teenagers testing the limits and rebelling. There was no escaping the reality of the passage of time sitting there looking around. I am no longer the 23 year old that first met the faces looking back at me now, or the 33 year old that became their Aunt through marriage. Family connections are important to me, and I have always tried to connect and be there. There have been times when I have felt left out, not included, separate because I am an Aunt through marriage, a sister in law through marriage. Most times I ignore it, join in, and include myself where I know the hands will reach out to meet me. But sometimes I feel frozen out, and it is hard not to let that chill invade. Hard to tell myself once again it is them not me, they just aren’t thinking, seeing beyond themselves, realizing they are leaving me out. And so I become weepy, I weep for the passage of time, my nieces grown women, though I feel it was yesterday that I danced at their weddings. I weep that both their youth and mine have passed, that when the family gathers many are no longer in attendance. I weep for feeling that even after more than twenty years I am still often on the outside, still trying to find my way in.

I know balance will be restored, the tears will pass, and I will put the tissues away and focus on the joys that do come with family, the connections I have with my great nieces and nephews, the smile the thought of them brings to my face thinking of the fun we have together, and that two of them called to ask if they could come and spend this weekend, to which I replied with a resounding YES OF COURSE!

11/23/2014
DailyMusings

17 comments

Weekly Photo Challenge: Angular

The Freedom Tower NYC

Weekly Photo Challenge: Angular

11/23/2014
DailyMusings

23 comments

Crossroads

Yesterday I attended the Bar Mitzvah of my niece’s son, my brother in laws grandson. It was a beautiful day spent with three generations of family. We numbered 16 adults and 18 children, ages ranging from 75 down to 3.

My brother in law in his speech to the assembled, told a beautiful story which I would like to share with you.

There was a man who was on the road going from the town of Minsk to the town of Pinsk in Russia. He traveled along the road and then came to a crossroad. The sign that pointed in the four directions leading to the towns had fallen and was laying on the ground. He was at a loss as to what to do. How would he find the way to go? A farmer working nearby came over to see if he could be of help. The man explained his plight, at not knowing which direction to proceed in. The farmer told him to pick up the pole and hold it so that the arrow with the name of the town he had come from pointed in the direction from which he had come. Then the arrow pointing where he needed to go would be facing in the correct direction to proceed.

My brother in law continued by saying, the lesson we can learn from this, is that in order to know where we need to go, we first need to know where we come from. We need to look back, to learn from previous generations, to remember the things we have been taught. What we take and learn from the past can serve us well into our futures. The people we choose as friends, the connections we make with family, the opportunity to learn and grow from those who are older, who may have wisdom to offer from experience. Remember where you came from, it will serve you well for where you are going.

The Daily Prompt

11/23/2014
DailyMusings

6 comments

Cee’s Which Way Challenge

It always fascinates me how the roads in the New York area all connect one to another. The Major Deegan going North from Queens leads to the George Washington Bridge, as does the FDR Drive, just on the opposite side of the East River. The Cross Bronx Expressway with its endless traffic at any hour, can be seen from the FDR in this photo, the green signs standing out in the night. All those lights are cars barely moving along.

Once the crawl to the approach to the bridge is over, we are led “under the apartments” a huge apartment building was built above where you enter onto the bridge. Here is what it looks like in daylight

And it’s always fun to look back at who is approaching on the right- remembering that “objects in mirror are closer than they appear” !

11/21/2014
DailyMusings

9 comments

Soundtrack of Life

The Daily Prompt: If your life were a movie, what would its soundtrack be like? What songs, instrumental pieces, and other sound effects would be featured on the official soundtrack album?

It would be filled with love songs, songs about life, songs about friends, songs about what used to be. Pianos and violins weaving their melodies, guitars picking out beautiful chords. Sad songs, upbeat songs, happy songs, uplifting songs.

11/21/2014
DailyMusings

18 comments

It’s a Day Off!

Daily Prompt: What’s your idea of a perfect day off: one during which you can quietly relax, doing nothing, or one with one fun activity lined up after the other? Tell us how you’d spend your time.

That’s an easy one. When I have a day off my favorite thing to do is go into New York City and spend the day with my sister and niece. Sometimes we go to a museum, sometimes we sit on the couch and drink coffee all day and never stop talking. We take Gus their dog to Carl Schurz Park overlooking the East River and walk along the water. My niece plays her guitar and sings, sometimes accompanied by my sister, their voices harmonizing beautifully. Perfect Day.

My sister and niece singing together….

11/20/2014
DailyMusings

8 comments

My Grandfather and His Ducks

I came across these photos today taken of my Grandfather in 1989. He loved the birds and ducks that came to his feeder that was filled year round. Sometimes a lone white duck would be found among the wild Mallard Ducks, an escapee from a local farm most likely. Apparently it made no difference to the Mallards, he had become one of them.

My Grandfather’s love for these birds is evident in the picture where he is patting that white duck. Seeing it reminded me of his kindness.

11/20/2014
DailyMusings

4 comments

We’re only here for a moment

Take a listen to the beautiful melody my friend Max plays.. and the reminder that we are here only for a moment…

Cardinal Guzman

We’re only here for a moment.

The theme for #photo101 today is Moment. We’re only here for a moment, try to enjoy it while it lasts.

Here’s a tune from that a friend and I played in my mom’s funeral (which was not the one on the photo above). I guess the best way to describe the tune is classical guitars.

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11/19/2014
DailyMusings

10 comments

Papa George

The Daily Prompt: We all have that one eccentric relative who always says and does the strangest things. In your family, who’s that person, and what is it that earned him/her that reputation?

Though I never met him, the tales of my husband’s step father are legendary. My husband’s father died at the age of 46 when my husband was 10, suddenly and unexpectedly. His mother was 36. She re married four years later, a man the complete opposite of her first husband. Her first husband was European born, refined, polite, with a sense of humor but always tasteful. “Papa George” as his grandchildren called him, was American born, a bit “rough around the edges” and never hesitated to speak his mind, not giving much thought to the shock that might elicit.

He would start his day walking around in nothing but a towel wrapped around his more than ample waist, and a cigar hanging from his mouth. Steak or a hamburger were breakfast fare most days. Long before Dr Atkins was recommending it as a dietary way of life. Quite a vision for my husband the 14 year old to be greeted with everyday. Quite a departure from what he was used to. The kitchen was Papa George’s domain-he loved food and loved to cook. My husband remembers him going to the supermarket and using two carts, filling them to the brim with items. He would buy things in mass quantities, long before there was a Costco. Cases of seltzer or grape juice. He would buy fresh rhubarb by the bushel (literally) and make compote with it- cooking it for days on end. He did his own pickling, using large barrels in the basement of the house. Hanging from the rafters in the ceiling of the basement were salamis – usually 20 or so, that he was “curing.” To say the place reeked of garlic is an understatement.

Then there was the dog, Hector. Hector was a German Shepard the size of a small horse. And vicious to everyone but George. The mailman would leave the mail on the stoop rather than approach the front door out of fear of this dog. He completely ruined the fine leather seats in Papa George’s Lincoln Continental, ripping them to shreds with his claws, but no matter- Papa George loved that dog. After attending a wedding Papa George would go into the kitchen to get leftovers to bring home for Hector, much to my mother in laws mortification.

If he became bored at a meal- no matter where- a wedding, Bar Mitzvah, at the home of friends or family, it would be time for the spoon flip. He would take a tablespoon or fork and a small piece of bread he had smushed up into the size of a spit ball, and put it on the end of the utensil and aim it into someone else’s water glass. If it would actually go in, which it did very often, he would laugh, that ample stomach shaking. Once again my mother in law sat embarrassed, mortified once again.

My husband with his mother & Papa George

For all of his eccentricities, Papa George was a very giving and generous man. He was magnanimous and always gave and helped those in need. Though his behavior was not always conventional it was always good spirited, his antics always bringing a smile to those who remember him.

11/19/2014
DailyMusings

9 comments

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Doors, Door Knobs and Handles

I didn’t have to look much farther than my own home for this challenge. The house I live in was built in 1930 and still has most of the original woodwork and doors.

Here’s the front door, which is an unusual shape rarely seen in newer homes.

This is the doorknocker on the bathroom door on the first floor

All of the doors in the house have crystal doorknobs

The bathroom still has the original tiles which are purple and green,

so I switched out the plain crystal for a purple one I found in an antique store

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Doors, Door Knobs and Handles

11/18/2014
DailyMusings

17 comments

These Are the Good Old Days

Daily Prompt: Is there a period in your own personal life that you think of as the good old days? Tell us a story about those innocent and/or exciting times (or lack thereof)

The good old days?

You mean middle school when I was plagued with acne and trying to find the right crowd to fit in with and going through teenage angst and fighting constantly with my mother?

Or maybe it would be high school when I met a few back stabbing friends, and longed for that elusive boyfriend, and continued fighting with my mother?

Perhaps in my early 20’s when I wasn’t sure what career path to take and did like my job but couldn’t quite figure out where it would lead to, and found myself in a not so healthy relationship with a man I couldn’t seem to extricate myself from.

My good old days began in my 30’s when I met my husband and got married, when my step daughter came into my life, when I realized the value of the friends and family I had and how the relationships with those I love enriched my life.

When I grew up enough to realize I should be grateful for the good in my life, for the things I have been blessed with, because there are many who are not similarly blessed.

These are the good old days.

11/17/2014
DailyMusings

15 comments

Achievement

Weekly Photo Challenge: Achievement

There is a park near where we live that rambles through six towns, totaling six miles one way. One Sunday my husband and I decided we would make that six mile walk. We intended to park one car at the park where we started then drive and leave the other car at the other end so we would only walk the six miles one way. Upon arriving at the first park in the car, my husband said why not just leave both cars and walk the six miles and back, we could do it, as we are avid walkers and in fairly good shape. We had packed lunch, the weather was perfect, let’s just do it! And so we did it. After walking the first six miles and sitting down to eat lunch, my husband did comment that it might have been nice to be able to get in the car and drive home. But we turned around and did the six miles back. Now that was an achievement!

11/16/2014
DailyMusings

18 comments

Sunday Stills, the next challenge: Light my Fire

…and the fire is so delightful…..

photo credit: my sister. subject: Gus

Sunday Stills the next challenge….Light My Fire

11/16/2014
DailyMusings

12 comments

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

Daily Prompt: “Good things come to those who wait.” Do you agree? How long is it reasonable to wait for something you really want?

It is funny that this is the prompt today, as I intended to write about the virtue of patience, before seeing the prompt. The expression “Good things come to those who wait” is an English phrase extolling the virtue of patience. The ability to wait for something without getting angry or upset is considered a valuable quality in a person.

Patience is not something that comes naturally to me, it is something I need to work on, think about, concentrate on. I often need to make a very conscious effort to talk myself down from the slow burning rage that can overcome me when things are not moving quickly enough, to remind myself to just count to 10. There are times when I am standing in line at a checkout waiting for the person ahead of me to finish only to see she is now on her 3rd try to pay because each credit card she uses has been declined, then her coupons aren’t registering because she has not bought the correct quantity. If I have nowhere else to be I take a deep breath and say who cares, be patient, this lady has bigger troubles than you with 3 declined credit cards. There’s that patience, that wonderful virtue to have.

When the Sunday driver in front of me is going 15 in a 35 mph zone again I take a deep breath and remember it is okay because I have given myself enough time to get where I am going. Those are the good times, the patient times. Woe to that driver if it is a day when I am running late, quite a different scenario, including honking, brights flashing and most likely not so polite gesturing. No patience, no virtue.

Last week I was reminded of the basic lack of patience in general as a result of the world around us where everything is so immediately accessible now. Social media allows us to see what is going on in real time, not hours or days later. We email, face time, Skype, and can receive overnight packages. Stores are open 24 hours, everything seems to be readily and immediately accessible. This point was made clear to me by one of the students in my First Grade class.

The students were given a Scholastic Books catalog to take home to order books from. No mailing in orders, their parents can go online and place the order. The books are received in school and we hand them out. One boy was very eager to get the new catalog and couldn’t wait to take it home. He came in the next morning and told me his mother had ordered the books he wanted, could he have his books. I told him it was so exciting they were ordered, but it takes three weeks until we get them in school. Dejectedly he walked away. The next morning he came over and asked if the books had come. I explained showing him a calendar when the books would be arriving. He looked up at me and said (whine included) “But I don’t want to wait” Ah there it was. Children in general are less inclined to wait for things, this is always as it has been. Growing up today it has become even more of a challenge I believe. So this boy has had his first of many lessons in patience and learning the virtue of it. I, on the other hand am still learning.

11/16/2014
DailyMusings

7 comments

If I Knew Then What I Know Now…

The Daily Prompt: Good Tidings: Present-day you meets 10-years-ago you for coffee. Share with your younger self the most challenging thing, the most rewarding thing, and the most fun thing they have to look forward to.

My 46 year old self will be surprised to hear she will come out of “early retirement” and completely change course to begin working as an assistant teacher. Taking that evening course in ASL is what will lead her there.

Happily she will reconcile her differences with her sister and reap the benefits of a close and meaningful relationship with her and her niece as a result.

Her friend will suffer a TBI which will lead her to learn about the world of Aphasia and volunteer in a center for people who struggle with it. New friends will come from this, and a better understanding of the hardships people can overcome. It will also lead to learning how to play the game of Mah Jongg and endless laughter and bonding with new “girlfriends”.

A man she shared her teenage years with will resurface, ill and in need of help. She will be there for him through his descent into death, and with him when he takes his last breath. Brace yourself for 18 months of an emotional roller coaster, of seeing things you wish you never had to see, but to also bringing closure to the past.

The volunteering she is doing in the hospital will change her outlook in many ways, allowing her to connect with people but experience what it is to then lose them to illness. It will shake her up and make her rethink what is important and what is not.

Sammy & Max her beloved Cocker Spaniels will live into old age, 19 & 17, but will not go easily, forcing her to make that decision not to see them suffer. Though she knows she did the right thing for them, it will continue to haunt her years later.

Watch where you are going….tripping over an unseen foot will land you squarely on your elbow and shatter it into a bazillion pieces, put back together with screws. This period of your life will not be a happy one, and will take a lot of PT and the love and caring of close friends to see you through.

Through it all, there will be the constants in life, her BFF and DH will still be with her. Bearing witness to the wrinkles that appear around her eyes, the dark circles that seem to be showing more prominently each day under them, the furrows between her brow that have become more permanent. BFF and DH too are showing signs of age, so they are all in this together. And summing it up, that is truly what matters most.

One of my favorite patients-may she rest in peace

11/13/2014
DailyMusings

11 comments

Cee’s Which Way Photo Challenge

11/11/2014
DailyMusings

9 comments

Peas In A Pod

Daily Prompt: Of the people who are close to you, who is the person most unlike you? What makes it possible for you to get along?

What makes the people close to me unlike me? Maybe they make choices different from mine about how to spend money. Or they like to travel while I don’t care for it. They have children and I have chosen not to. They function within their marriage quite differently from how I do in mine. But how unlike me are they really? Would we be friends if we didn’t share common values?

None of my friends are really so unlike me when it comes to the things that matter most. They know how to share a laugh, how to show compassion, how to listen, how to give. We may not share all the same interests, or the same taste in clothes and food, but that is what makes life interesting, we are unlike in ways that open us up to seeing something new, but alike in ways that bond us together.

We are able to see the bigger picture, beyond what our differences may be, because the things that really count, that matter, are much more important than the things that make us different.

My friend Gitty

11/11/2014
DailyMusings

11 comments

Tuesday’s A to Z challenge: “S”

S is for SNOW

The Letter S

11/10/2014
DailyMusings

9 comments

Daily Prompt: Life Is Too Short To……

The Daily Prompt: No Time To Waste…Fill in the blank: “Life is too short to _____.”

I can’t say I thought much about life being too short when I was younger. Until a person has experienced things that change their perspective; loss, illness cutting short a life, missed opportunity, change, it is hard to think about life being too short. Over the many years I volunteered visiting patients in the hospital, and the more I witnessed death and illness visited upon those patients, the more aware I became of the concept of “life is too short.” As I grew older and realized I didn’t want to listen to people who had nothing better to do with their time than bad mouth others, I distanced myself from those people. Keep the negative out, bring the positive in. Make the choice to keep my cup half full rather than half empty, be thankful for what I do have rather than focusing on what I may not have. Make my time count, connect with people, reach out and be there for them when the opportunity presents itself, don’t wait, the opportunity may pass and then it will be too late.

Life is too short to waste time holding grudges. Too short to hold onto all the wrongs done to us. Too short not to be forgiving. Too short not to work on ourselves everyday to become better people. Too short not to be there for the people we love. Too short not to make our actions count. Too short to spend time worrying about things that may never happen. Too short not to do things now so we will later not have regrets about not having done them. Too short to waste time with negative people. Embrace the positive, find joy in simple things, be a friend, be there for those you love. Because life can be too short.

11/09/2014
DailyMusings

5 comments

WordPress Photo Challenge: Minimalist

The Daily Post-Minimalist

11/07/2014
DailyMusings

12 comments

Travel theme: Arches

Ailsa at Where’s My Backpack has made the theme for this week Arches

Here are some seen around New York City

11/07/2014
DailyMusings

9 comments

My Grandfather

Today is my Grandfather’s birthday. It is funny how the date will be eternally linked to him, even though he has been gone for more than fifteen years now.

My grandfather left school after the 8th grade and went out to work. He always told us his father had said to him, “That’s two years more education than I had, now go to work.” He eventually started his own business, buying a van to start a moving company which grew to be one of the largest in the United States. He was a man of great morals and ethics, and remained modest about his success until his death at the age of 92.

My grandfather on the right 1938

After he retired he and my grandmother moved year round to what had been their summer home on the water. His love for nature apparent in his daily ritual of feeding the birds that flocked to the feeder outside his back door. In the summer while visiting, I would awaken to the familiar sound of the bird seed hitting the slates around the feeder as he threw cups of feed out for the birds to feast on.

He had one seagull who became almost like a pet, having no fear of my grandfather and hanging around the yard for much of the day. We called him Jonathan Livingston after the book published in 1970 about a seagull with that name. One of the most amazing things was his relationship with the swans. Swans can be very nasty, spitting if you get too close, coming after you if they feel threatened. He managed to “tame” two of the local swans. Allowing them to get used to his presence, until eventually they ate from his hand.

He loved boating and fishing and just being outdoors. During the winter months he could be found doing laps around his oval driveway, he knew that six times around was a mile and would walk it everyday.

In spring he cared for his rose bushes and won a contest one year for best rose in show.

He was content in his life and his attitude was always positive. He saw the good in people and was always thankful for the good around him, for the love of his family. I think of him often during the summer months when I see the birds at my feeder, or the seagulls flying around over the beach at the ocean. He set the best example through his actions, living a life of honesty and integrity, always kind and fair. What better legacy to leave.