Superficial

Superficial: appearing to be true or real only until examined more closely

Facebook is what came to mind when I saw today’s prompt. It reminded me of the time someone said to me “you’re always smiling and so happy!!” Well yeah, do you really want to see a post of me yelling at my husband, or perhaps a great capture of me washing the kitchen floor and cursing under my breath? Sure there are the occasional posts of people overcoming challenges they are faced with. Like just this morning when I saw a friend of mine from High School, smiling, with a post under her smiling photo that said: I have adjusted to living with Parkinson’s Disease but miss dancing, with the hashtag “new normal” and #rocksteady. Yes, Facebook can be a place to share one’s trials and triumphs and get positive feedback in the comments that can help boost one’s moral, but at the end of the day she is still living with her new normal and no amount of posting her smiling face is going to change that. I am pretty sure she must have her dark moments, but no one really wants to hear or see them.

To the outside world we present a superficial appearance, putting on the smiles, speaking in soft tones, speaking politely (usually). My true colors appear now and then and people are so surprised to find out I am not that patient, kind person they thought I was. They have met my sharp tongue and ability to fly off the handle with little notice. Hard as I try to maintain that superficial exterior, it crumbles away now and then.

While cleaning out a box of old photos recently, I came across two that made me laugh, that most likely would not have made it to Facebook had it been around in 1974 and 1978.

Here is my mother in 1974 at the age of 42, in a stance quite familiar to her children, but usually not the outside world.

She had returned something she bought in a local camera shop that had broken, and the guy snapped her photo before giving her a new whatever it was. You didn’t want to start up with my mother when she had been “wronged” a trait I seem to have inherited from her. # attitude

The following photo was taken in 1978, when I was 21. Who knows what I was brooding about, but I was a pro at it through my teenage years and early 20’s. This is the kitchen in the home I grew up, and I have no idea who took the photo. Another that most likely would not have made it onto my Facebook or Instagram feed. #brooding

I suppose we all need to maintain a certain degree of superficiality (?) to those we do not want to be privy to our innermost thoughts and who we really are. It’s all smiles and thumbs up. # superficial

35 thoughts on “Superficial

  1. This has made me belly laugh. You look adorable when brooding, but I won’t make you post it. That would be an idea for pick a word challenge – brooding or attitude. Beautifully written, Lisa. Your Mom was a looker too.

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    • Paula I am so glad to see you here- I hope you are doing better. Glad I made you laugh- brooding was a word my mother used often, usually in reference to me πŸ™‚

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  2. Interesting point about maintaining a certain degree of superficiality. It’s true but not usually expressed that honestly. Nice post, Lisa..:)

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  3. Very true commentary about our ‘smile for the camera ‘ type of face versus or real inner feelings. In my younger years, I often had apermanent frown from squinting in the sun. People often thoughtI was unhappy but I wasn’t.

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  4. So, you are human after all. πŸ™‚

    Thank you for this post. I can’t tell you how tired I am of all the superficial stuff that’s posted online -and sadly WordPress is no exception.

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    • I find that people are more honest in their blogs, not sugar coating their lives as much. I know for myself it is a place I can share openly- when I am not happy or sad, something I do not do on Facebook.

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      • I signed up on Facebook many, many years ago. Within 2 weeks I had friends requests from people I went to schools with and people I have worked with all over the world. Many of them I didn’t like back then, so I dropped my FB account. πŸ™‚

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      • I enjoy Facebook to keep me connected to family that lives far away and some friends that I enjoy seeing their photos. I have unfriended or no longer accept friend requests from people I have no interest in- as you said, never did way back when and certainly couldn’t care less now!

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  5. Or you can be like me a post stuff that gets me in trouble and not care. As long as it does not hurt a person close to me.

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  6. Great post and so true. Facebook or no Facebook we don’t display absolutely everything to the outside world and nor should we. I love catching up with people on Facebook even if it is only the good news I’m seeing. Close friends will share more with each other in other ways. 😊

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  7. I think it’s so sad that today’s generation and future generations won’t have the ‘oh my what were you thinking’ photographs to look back on. Bring back the days of not knowing what you had taken until they came back from the developer!!

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    • I remember those days- oh the waiting, but then the excitement reliving those moments again through photos. I do love the instant gratification of today and uploading photos to my computer and deleting what I don’t like!

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      • That’s true about the deleting!! Guess also at least you don’t have the disappointment of when what you thought would be a brilliant shot turned out to be dreadful.

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  8. Great photos Lisa, you look so broody in the last photo! Love that rotary phone too! “SHHHHHH tick tick tick tick” The sound the rotary dial made…

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