Seven months ago, (September) I wrote about my husband’s son having finally made contact with his father for the first time in almost 20 years. This is what I wrote:
Sometimes a person feels remorse but is not quite ready to fully delve into making amends, or revisiting a situation. Maybe they want to test the waters, but not actually jump in.
This seemed to be the case last week when my husband received an email from his son whom has had no contact with my husband for close to 20 years. The relationship a casualty of divorce. A child being used as a pawn by a mother who thought nothing of filling his head with lies and guilt until the child succumbed. The door has always remained opened from my husband’s side, efforts made over the years to reach out, all spurned.
The Jewish New Year was last week, and on the eve of the holiday my husband received an email that read:
Just wanted to wish you a good year. May you be written and inscribed for good.
Signed with his name
At first my husband thought maybe it was a mistake, a group email sent out to many and somehow my husband’s email had been inadvertently included. He did away with that theory, and came to think that maybe something had moved his son before the new year, he is now 42 and maybe sees life differently having adult age children himself. My husband immediately emailed back and also called the number that was included in the email, saying how happy he was to hear from him, thanking him for reaching out, and would love to see him if he wanted.
No response. Not after the holiday, not all week.
My husband wonders what prompted him, but will have to wait to find out, hopefully not another 20 years.
It is now April, and as September turned to October with no further word from his son, my husband put it out of his mind (sort of, as it is never really out of his mind) and life went on.
This coming week will be my husband’s son’s 42nd birthday. My husband has sent a birthday card to him every year for the last 20 years. At first the cards would come back with RETURN TO SENDER written across the front, and eventually they never came back at all, the check enclosed inside never cashed. That is until this past Friday.
As every year, my husband sent a card, reiterating once again how much he would like to reconnect even though he realizes it may be difficult for his son to do so. An email appeared in my husband’s inbox Friday saying:
Thank you for the birthday card, when I am ready I will let you know. All the best.
The door has opened another crack. My husband hopes the “when” will be sooner than later, thinking that contact made twice in seven months is major compared to nothing in 20 years. Here’s hoping.