Bring On The Positive

busybodyMaking choices about the people I want to surround myself with has become much easier as I have gotten older. I am no longer preoccupied with having to be part of “the crowd” or feel the need to keep the company of people who are negative or have nothing nice to say about others. It is actually quite liberating not to really care what others may think of you, to feel confident enough in who you are and to be honest about who you are and embrace it. Over the years I have learned not to stand idly by if someone has “pushed my buttons”- sometimes making the choice just to walk away, other times not remaining silent but speaking my mind.

After listening to a fellow teacher’s constant complaints over the last month, and her never ending concern about what others were doing that she deemed “unfair”, I finally reached my limit this past week. I would have remained silent had she not questioned me about one of my appointed duties at work and whether or not I was doing it. I then had the opportunity to tell her what I tell my first graders: Be your best self, stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and just concentrate on yourself. I also mentioned that her behavior struck me as very “high school” and I would no longer subject myself to it, bowing out from our shared lunch time, happier to eat alone than continue to subject myself to this behavior. Talking behind people’s backs, smiling to their face and then the minute they walk away having something to say about them is not an environment I choose to place myself in at this stage of my life. I spent too many years growing up following the crowd because I wanted to “belong” even if the choice of friends was not always the best choice. I am glad to have reached a stage of life where I can make the choice to surround myself with people who are positive and true friends, and walk far away from those who only want to bring negativity into their daily existence.busybody2

26 thoughts on “Bring On The Positive

  1. i was never part of the in crowd. Sometimes I wanted to be but, for the most part, I wasn’t willing to do what I had to do to be a part of certain in crowds. And you’re right, these days, it just doesn’t matter. I’m happier being alone than in the wrong in crowd.

    That’s one of the things about age…when we reach a certain age, we get the wisdom that we would not have appreciated at a younger age.

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    • So very true Corina-for some even with age they haven’t figured it out, there own self esteem keeping them from making a better choice about who they hang around with. Wonderful even as a young woman you were able to do your thing.

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  2. I actually think this is the golden part of the golden years. The realization that you can finally be yourself and you really, truly don’t care what “those people” think of you. We will always want the good opinion of the people we love and respect — and should — but all those others who aren’t our friends? Who needs them? Welcome to the joys of being old enough to say “butt out” and mean it 🙂

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  3. I agree Lisa, even I don’t remember even to have belonged to a crowd. I don’t mind, what neighbors or others are thinking and I really don’t care. Negativity kill our happiness.
    Irene

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  4. yes! no matter what they do and how much unfair this world and all other people can be, to concentrate on yourself is the only thing what we can do. we sadly can’t change the world but we can change ourselves and our acting. I’m sad that I wasted so much time with remaining silent and with bearing the foolish behavior of people around me instead to take appropriate steps and to steer clear of such peeps.

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    • Actually, I think that when you tell someone their negative behavior is something you won’t subject yourself to anymore, they are foolish if they don’t do a little self-examination. They may deny they did anything wrong, but what happens if two friends say it, or three? I think our refusal to put up with bad behavior will influence the world.

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  5. Good for you!!! It is so very liberating to get to a point in life where we can say and do the things we feel is right for us without having to be concerned about the fallout. It makes one wonder how our lives would have been if we had always lived with that same mindset.
    Maybe your talk will help her in some way, or maybe, as the quote says, she is just too unhappy in her own life to really understand her actions.

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    • Thank you so much – I love your use of the word liberating as that is exactly what it is to come to a place where you are comfortable with who you are and not willing to tolerate nonsense from others.

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