Grief

It’s a funny thing with grief. It lurks in the background, hiding in the hidden recesses of the mind. Popping into consciousness suddenly, unexpectedly, forcing you to face what you would rather keep buried, silent, repressed, for your own good. It is insidious, quietly running in the background, ready to show itself at a moment’s notice- when a song comes on the radio, a person walks by leaving a scent of perfume, a stray thought pops into your head taking you to a place you don’t want to go. And then the photo that appears in your FB feed, smacking you with the reality of your loss, the impossibility of it, taking your breath away. The months may pass, life may continue on, but everything is changed. Better to keep it locked away, deny it, than face the truth, and the pain that comes with the loss.


27 thoughts on “Grief

  1. Such a difficult topic to discuss, write about or even understand. Everyone is so different in how they deal with it. Some of us keep it tucked away, as you mention, other push it out front and choose to speak about it often and openly, which sometimes makes others uncomfortable. But death is the ultimate democracy and the discussion is inevitable, however we choose to handle it.

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    • You are so right. I think I have learned we do all handle it differently and need to be respectful of that difference. Because one person “gets over it” quickly they should not impose that on another.

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  2. “smacking you with the reality of your loss, the impossibility of it, taking your breath away.” I know what you mean. It seems that it happens more and more often, the older we get.

    I am sorry for your loss.

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  3. I’m so sorry for you loss. I agree that it’s so much easier to turn our minds away from the pain and not accept the reality of loss. It hurts too bad to remember what’s happened. This makes me question the post I wrote yesterday. It was not my intention to stir up painful memories for readers, but I’m afraid that I may have done just that. Perhaps some topics are better left unsaid, but then again…how will we ever learn the valuable lessons that come with love and loss? For you, I am so sorry. I know that it’s difficult and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

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    • I hadn’t read your post of yesterday until just now- I am very behind on catching up with my reading- but I think it is important to write about things that are hard, death, dying, loss, your post shared a very important message -to connect everyday, tell those we love that we love them, so no matter what happens we will not live with regret. Very important. Thank you for your kind words to me ❤

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      • It makes me feel much better to hear you say that. I certainly don’t want my writing to ever cause anguish to those who read it. As you said, I too feel like it’s important, because so often we forget what our priorities should be and take them for granted. Life is too short to not appreciate those around us and the time we have with them.

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      • I think it also offers people the opportunity to know what they may be feeling they are not alone in. I am thankful I can share in words with my blogging friends how I am feeling and know they have felt that way too. Easier in many ways than trying to explain to someone why I am suddenly sad or crying!

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  4. I so agree it needs just a little thing and all the grief and the sorrows are back… It’s not easy to get this sad memories out of my head, they are persistant and they can destroy even the joy about some good things :o(

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  5. i know exactly what you mean.

    As you may recall, my father died in May. A couple of weeks ago I was sorting through old papers that were never unpacked when I moved here eight years ago. I found a card and opened it up to see who it was from. And my heart stopped. It was from my father on the occasion of my first child’s birth. The lump in my throat. The tears not quite flowing. Heart starts again. Then the tears flow.

    I know exactly what you mean.

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  6. It always comes back and bites you … eventually. I know people that managed to dodge that bullet for a decade, only to have it get them from behind. We can all run … but nobody can hide, at least not forever. The older I get, the harder it gets to even pretend.

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  7. Your words are so very true…even years can pass and still our eyes see something, or nose smells something or our ears hear something that brings the pain back to the surface. Do we ever really stop grieving the loss of a loved one? I have often asked myself that. Love and hugs sweet friend.

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    • Thanks Lois- she died in July and I have found myself really pushing the thought of her far away because I just don’t want to believe it- today her daughter posted a beautiful photo of them both and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

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      • Yes Lois- recurrence in January, she went on hospice in June, and 4 weeks later was gone. I think it we think we have reached a point of “acceptance” but then find in a moment, not so much

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